Monday, February 12, 2018

My son turns 16 tomorrow. I don't know why I can't stop crying about that. It's not about me being old enough to have a 16 year old, because we also have an 18 year old. Is it guilt? Do I feel like I haven't done enough for him? For them? I don't think so, but I can't stop crying. Both my babies are going to be leaving us and I'm not ready. I thought I would be. I thought we'd have the typical yearning for them to be gone already, driving us crazy with their nasty teenage antics, but they're really wonderful. Completely different from each other and unique, and wonderful. Why do they have to leave when they're just becoming the most interesting? Who will they become, and how much of it am I going to miss out on? And when did I become that mom? I swear, whatever you think you could never do or be or drive before you become a parent is EXACTLY when winds up happening once you add kids to the equation. Good thing those things are almost always silly lines in the sand that don't matter in the long run. I wouldn't trade these lovely people for anything.